Jan Zarebicki was my best friend. We met in 9th grade and discovered that our choices can make life a “wild and precious” adventure.

I was skinny, five foot tall, articulate and sarcastic. An introverted overthinker, I had learned to be condescending as a defense mechanism.
Jan was tall, strong and handsome. Blond hair and a natural tan. He looked like a lifeguard and became one because he wanted to meet girls. He too was articulate and smart. The difference between us: he was not sarcastic.

Jan could talk with anyone. He knew how to read people and would craft a conversation that left others feeling understood and appreciated. Jan was conservative and optimistic.

I was radical and rebellious, a teen who tried to mask my feelings of inferiority by touting an air of superiority. In ways, we were like opposites.

Yet, Jan saw through my masks. He knew there was true goodness in me and he told me so. He believed in me so much that, eventually, I also began to believe. However, even though Jan’s faith in me was genuine and unconditional, that does not mean that my transformation was immediate. There were many hurdles I needed to accomplish before my name began to receive any affirmation.

The details of our “adventures” are fascinating. Yet, to tell them would require far more time than I am able to devote here. But let me offer the summary of one story that reveals how sincerely Jan was dedicated to our friendship.

In April of eleventh grade, an “incident” took place at school. I was blamed. It was something I had not done! As a wrongly accused teenager, I soon became a “TWA” (Teen with attitude!).

That “attitude” led to a few confrontations with a large, hairy chemistry teacher who enjoyed making fun of skinny, 5 foot 2 inch me. Eventually, I reached my “Popeye” point. (That is, “That’s all I can stand, I can’t stand no more!”). That day in chemistry class proved to be the point of no return.

As usual, Mr. Large and Hairy started making fun of me in front of my classmates. I remember him saying, “Corrigan is such a loser, his goal in life is to one day find himself mopping floors at the Fire Station.”

That was it! I stood up in front of everyone and boldly addressed my antagonist, “Mr. Xxxxx… F#@k You!” Then, with all the poise I could muster, I turned and walked out of class.

I was promptly expelled from Saint Elizabeth High School.

You’ll need to read the book to hear about my father’s reaction. Suffice to say, he was not happy. Nor did he stand up for me.

The next day, Dad drove me to Henry C. Conrad Public High School, my new alma mater. As if getting kicked out of a catholic high school in April of my junior year wasn’t painful enough, it got worse.

My father walked me into the Principal’s office at Conrad. Lo and behold, the Principal was Earl J. Smith, an old friend of my Dad’s from high school. Watching those two old jocks reminisce about playing football together back in the “good ole days,” made me feel even smaller. It was not a good day.

But here’s the thing. At the end of that school year, without saying a word about it to me, Jan convinced his parents to allow him to withdraw from Saint Elizabeth High School and go to Conrad so we could spend our senior year together.

At the time, I did not appreciate what a remarkable move that was. It took years for me to realize that only the most extraordinary friend would do such a thing.

I wish I could say that now, in the last chapter of my life, Jan and I get together and tell stories about our “good ole days.” But, at the far too young age of 55, Jan died suddenly.

It was February 5th and I was on my way to a family dinner to celebrate my niece Andrea’s birthday. I got a phone call from Jan’s brother Michael. He told me Jan was participating in field trials, and his beloved German Shorthair Pointer had just won. Jan was handed the champion trophy. Right then, his heart gave out. Jan was gone.

It’s been 12 years and I miss him so much. In high school, we were inseparable. I regret that we didn’t spend more time together in our adult years.

But Jan was busy raising a family and becoming a very successful Investment Manager. He lived a good life.

I was busy too, getting degrees, earning board certifications, and working long hours as a catholic priest. Imagine that. The kid who got kicked out of a catholic high school became a priest! God surely has a sense of humor.

The friendships we make when we are young are “forever.” They guide us into becoming who we are meant to be. Whether we stay connected or not, those early friendships remain part of us. They influence the decisions we make and the mark we leave on this world.

Jan was my best friend. He was a champion in so many ways.
I am because he was.

I will always love him.